Maintaining a strong, healthy, long-term intimate relationship is like tending to a garden that requires consistent pruning and care. It requires constant effort from both partners. A happy and fulfilling relationship can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life, but it’s not without its own set of challenges.
Among the most significant threats to any relationship are destructive behaviours that can tear apart all trust, respect, and intimacy over time. Here are some of the most common and destructive behaviours that both partners in the relationship engage in, knowingly or unknowingly, that can destroy relationships over a period of time.
Effective and honest communication is essential for bonding in any relationship and is necessary for it to thrive over time. Unfortunately, most of the couples struggle with effective communication, starting with the simple cold war or the cold shoulder treatment, ultimately snowballing into a maze of misunderstandings, resentment, jealousy, and other negative emotions that can lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship.
Any lack of communication between partners, for whatever reason, whether it’s the fear of discussing elusive or difficult topics like financial matters between partners, ineffective listening, or using abusive language among the partners, the absence of right communication in a long term relationship like marriage can create a rift between the partners that can be difficult to mend over the long term.
In order to avoid this sort of destructive behaviour, making a conscious effort to communicate openly and honestly with your partner is critical for the long-term survival of the relationship. This includes being honest in discussing difficult topics, actively listening to your partner’s point of view, and expressing your emotions and feelings using “I” statements rather than blaming or accusing your partner.
In order to keep the lines of communication open and to strengthen your relationship, it’s also important to set aside quality time to talk, whether it’s at the dinner table, during a daily romantic walk, or on a weekly date night or plain coffee talk on the bed, lying in each other’s hands.
Infidelity is one of the most devastating behaviours that can destroy a relationship, as it undermines the trust and intimacy levels that are essential to any partnership. Whether it’s a one-night stand, an emotional affair, or a long-term illicit relationship in spite of being married, infidelity can cause intense feelings of betrayal, hurt, and anger between both partners, leading to divorce and separation.
To avoid infidelity, it’s essential to be honest and transparent with your partner about your feelings, needs, and desires. This means being open with your partner about your attraction to the opposite sex, setting and discussing your personal boundaries, at the same time setting clear expectations to maintain the level of intimacy and commitment you expect from your relationship. Additionally, it’s crucial to maintain a strong emotional connection with your partner through regular date nights, romantic weekends, spending quality time together rather than lazing around in front of the television.
Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, and it’s essential for maintaining a healthy relationship over the long term. However, many couples struggle with empathizing with their partners, which can lead to long term feelings of isolation, resentment, and disconnection.
To avoid this self-destructive behaviour, it’s important to make a conscious effort to understand your partner’s perspective and feelings. This means practicing active listening, asking open ended questions to clarify their perspective, and being willing to validate their feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. Additionally, it’s important to practice active listening, which means paying attention to your partner, making eye contact, and responding appropriately to what they’re saying.
A strong level of trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, particularly a long term commitment like marriage and without it, a relationship cannot survive in the long run. However, many couples struggle with trust-related issues, including building strong trust levels and maintaining them. These trust issues, if neglected over time, lead to feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and resentment, and even separation.
To avoid this type of destructive behaviour, it’s important to be open and honest with your partner and to keep your promises. This means being transparent about the connection between you and your partner. This can be done by engaging in activities together that you both enjoy, showing affection and support for your partner, and making time for intimacy in your relationship.
In conclusion, maintaining a healthy and happy long-term relationship requires effort, patience, and understanding from both partners. However, even the most loving and committed couples face challenges that threaten to tear them apart, such as destructive behaviours.
Some of the most common destructive behaviours that couples engage in include lack of communication, infidelity, lack of empathy, lack of trust, and lack of respect. However, these behaviours can be avoided by making a conscious effort to communicate openly and honestly with your partner, being honest and transparent about your feelings and needs, practicing empathy and active listening, building and maintaining trust, and treating your partner with the same level of respect that you would like to receive.
By avoiding these destructive behaviours, couples can strengthen their relationship and ensure that it continues to thrive over the long term. Remember, a healthy and happy relationship is like a garden that requires constant pruning and attention to grow and flourish.