Maintaining a healthy and happy long term relationship is like maintaining a garden. It requires constant pruning, from time to time, besides effort from both the partners, a lot of patience, and understanding from both the partners.
In any relationship over a period of time, even the most loving and committed couples in life face challenges that threaten to tear them apart.

One of the most significant threats to any relationship in the long term is destructive behaviour, which can tear apart all the trust, respect, and intimacy over the storms of life. Here are some of the most common and devastating behaviours that couples engage in whether knowingly or unknowingly that can destroy relationships over time.


Effective communication is essential for bonding in any relationship and is a necessary ingredient for the relationship to thrive over a period of time. Unfortunately, most couples struggle with effective communication, starting with the cold shoulder treatment and ultimately leading to misunderstandings, resentment, jealousy and other negative emotions that ultimately, lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship.

Any lack of communication between two partners, for whatever reasons, whether it is the fear of discussing elusive or difficult topics, ineffective listening, or using or using abusive language, the absence of right communication can create a rift between the partners that can be difficult to mend over the long term.

In order to avoid this sort of devastating behaviour, making a conscious attempt to communicate openly and honestly with your partner is critical for the long term survival of the relationship. This includes being honest on discussing difficult topics, actively listening to your partner’s point of view, and expressing your emotions and feelings using “I” statements rather than blaming or accusing your partner.

To keep the lines of communication open and to strengthen your relationship, it is important to set a clear set of relationship goals from time to time and revisit relationship priorities like setting aside quality time to talk, whether it is at the dinner table, or over a daily romantic after dinner walk, or a weekly date night.


Infidelity is one of the most devastating behaviours that can destroy a relationship, as it undermines the trust and intimacy levels that are essential to any partnership. Whether it is a one-night stand, an emotional affair, or a long-term relationship in spite of being married, infidelity can cause intense feelings of betrayal, hurt, and anger between both the partners.

To avoid infidelity, it is essential to be honest and transparent with your partner about your feelings, needs, and desires. This means being open about your attraction to the opposite sex, discussing your personal boundaries, and setting clear expectations for the level of intimacy and commitment you expect from your relationship. Additionally, it is crucial to maintain a strong emotional connection with your partner, through regular date nights, quality time together, and open and honest communication.


Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, and it is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship over a long period of time. However, many couples struggle with empathizing with their partners, which can lead to feelings of isolation, resentment, and disconnection. This could be due to certain fears related to your personality.

To avoid this stereotype and devastating, destructive behaviour, it is important to make a conscious effort to understand your partner’s perspective and feelings. This means practising active listening, asking questions to clarify their perspective, and being willing to validate their feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. Additionally, it is important to practice active listening, which means paying attention to your partner, making eye contact, and responding appropriately to what they are saying.


Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, and without it, a relationship cannot survive in the long run. However, many couples struggle with trust related issues, including building strong trust levels and maintaining them. These trust issues which if neglected over a period of time lead to feelings of insecurity, jealousy, and resentment.

To avoid this type of destructive behaviour, it is important to be open and honest with your partner, and to keep your promises. This means being transparent about your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and not keeping secrets from your partner, including financial secrets. Additionally, it is essential to be accountable for your behaviour, and to take responsibility for your mistakes, rather than blaming your partner.


Maintaining a level of respect is essential for any relationship to thrive, whether it is between a husband and wife or between individuals. Humility and respect are the two foundations on which any relationship is based and without it, a relationship cannot survive, particularly marriage. However, most couples in a marriage struggle with showing respect to each other, for a variety of reasons which ultimately foster feelings of devaluation, disrespect and ultimately, the breakdown of the relationship.

To avoid this destructive behaviour, it is important to treat your partner with the same level of respect that you would like to receive. This means being considerate of your partner’s feelings, opinions, and boundaries, and not belittling or demeaning them in any way. Additionally, it is important to show your partner gratitude and appreciation for their contributions to the relationship, and to actively work to build and maintain mutual respect.

in conclusion

In conclusion, maintaining a healthy and happy relationship requires effort, patience, and understanding from both partners. However, even the most loving and committed couples can face challenges that threaten to tear them apart. By being aware of the common and devastating behaviours that can destroy your relationship and taking steps to avoid them, you can strengthen your bond and build a lasting and fulfilling partnership.