healthy-relationships

HOW I CAME TO FIND TRUE LOVE IN INDIA

true love in india

For every woman, finding the love of her life is nothing short of a fairy tale ending. She not only wants unconditional love from her husband, but also his family, particularly his mother. As a 22 year old, from all that I had heard, the most complex relationship is the relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that both the husband and the wife have to deal with for the rest of their life. I had never imagined in my wildest dreams that this relationship was going to change the entire course of my life!!

LOVE BLOOMS IN THE FALL OF 1992

For a 22 year old orphan, the fall of 1992 brings love. For a young French student of Economics, there was something about this shy, 26 something young man from India, pursuing his PhD in Economics that magnetically attracted me to him.

The first time that I saw him I was completely smitten by his demeanour, and his humble attitude. A regular at the coffee shop where I worked, he was always immersed in his research papers. I always watched him from a distance but did not have the courage to go up to him and strike up a conversation, except taking his order. The only information that I managed to get was that his name was Mohan and that he was pursuing his PhD in my university!

In order to get closer to him, I managed to get myself enrolled as his assistant through one of my friends in the university, though Economics was not one of my favourite subjects!! All this just for the sake of love. Love or infatuation, I was not sure.

The more I came to know more about him during our interactions at the university and the coffee shop, the more intrigued I was. For a 22 year old orphan, this man was slowly turning out to be the prince charming that I always dreamt of and whom she could trust for the rest of her life!!

NOTHING TASTES BETTER THAN COFFEE WHEN LOVE IS IN THE AIR!

coffee-date

Over our frequent coffee breaks Mohan was turning out to be more of a friend and a mentor and I had never expected in my wildest dreams that I would spend the rest of my life with this person, from a completely new culture that I had never experienced till now.

Mohan hailed from Benaras, a small town in India, known for its cultural and religious significance. His father had died when he was young, and he had to work hard for a scholarship for his PhD. After completing his PhD, he would be going back to India and would never come back!!

I WAS WILLING TO DO ANYTHING FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE!

Mohan’s resolve to settle down in India inspired me more to possess him at any cost. I was willing to go to any length to get him to accept me, including getting down naked in front of him and begging him to fuck me!!

In order to possess him, I started learning about Indian customs and traditions and even got myself a saree and traditional indian jewellery, though I did not how to wear one!!

As a friend, I requested Mohan if he could help me to dress up in a saree. For a moment he was taken aback by this request, but ultimately consented.

THE MOMENT OF RECKONING ARRIVES

beautiful-woman

I was so resolved to do anything to make him mine, including getting down naked in front of him and begging him to accept me!!

I invited him into to my apartment and willingly stripped down in front of him. I knelt down in front of him and asked him whether he would marry me.

I was nearly moved to tears when all that he said was that he wanted to take a selfie in the traditional attire to show it to his mother, without whose approval, he would not take the decision to marry.

My resolve to marry him was strengthened by Mohan’s behaviour who had not reacted even at the sight of a pretty young girl who had voluntarily stripped down to grab his attention!

INDIA CALLING IN THE FESTIVAL OF COLOURS

A few days, after our brief encounter at my apartment, I was depressed to learn that Mohan was moving back to India permanently as his PhD project was over. To add to that, he would not be coming back here as he had got a job in India!! My hopes and aspirations were shattered when I learnt about this new development.

However, there was a ray of hope when he broke the news that his mother had invited me to come and stay as their guest during the auspicious festival of Holi. I was to visit India during the festival of colours. This immediately brought back the smile on my face and I hugged Mohan and kissed him!!

PROSPECTIVE MOTHER-IN-LAW AND DAUGHTHER-IN-LAW MEEET

Though I was at the top of the world, on hearing the news, I was also overwhelmed by doubt and fear as to how they would react on seeing me and whether they would accept me or not as I was a complete stranger to them and not a part of their culture or tradition. Trusting my instincts,

I decided to take this trip though I did not know what destiny had in store for me. On arrival, Mohan’s sisters, hugged me as if we were long lost friends meeting each other after ages! As soon as I touched her feet, Mohan’s mother, too, hugged me spreading warmth all around.

Though language was a barrier, I had a first-hand experience that true love knows no boundaries of language, religion or culture.

TWO WEEKS THAT CHANGED THE COURSE OF LIFE FOREVER

Staying for two weeks at Mohan’s place, as a total stranger, I experienced so much love and warmth that I never experienced even from my own parents who were sadly no more.

From being tutored on Indian customs and traditions, learning to wear the saree and other Indian dresses, and  cooking Indian vegetarian delicacies, was something a stranger can never forget. 

For a stranger who has been praying at a church all her life, to pray every morning in a temple is something that can only be experienced and not felt.

My new found Indian friends enrolled me for a crash course in Hindi speaking as that was Mohan’s mother tongue.

Even today, when I recollect the first time I communicated with Mohan’s family in their mother tongue, I cannot but laugh at myself as the dialect was quite funny!! 

TIME FLIES AND IT’S GOODBYE TO INDIA

On the day, when I was to return back home, I hugged Mohan’s mother and cried like a child who was missing his mother. It was time to say goodbye to my new friends and my mother who taught me what true unconditional love was.

As a parting gift, I had got a smart phone for Mohan’s mother and had introduced her to the world of social media. She had started building up a sizeable amount of followers with her selfies with me in my new Indian avatar. She loved the new found attention and accepted it enthusiastically.

In fact, after returning back, not a day passed when I did not communicate with her through video calls. Though my Hindi was not proficient, I did make it a point to speak in Hindi as this was going to be the new language in my new world. 

THE HOMECOMING A NEW CHAPTER BEGINS

I was officially accepted into Mohan’s family, after almost two years of having visited India. At the time of my marriage, my mother-in-law rechristened me as “Asha”, the one who brings hope. The hope of a new future, prosperity and happiness. With my new name, my social media status also changed!!

Unlike the last time at my apartment, this time around Mohan took the initiative, grabbed me into his strong arms, kissed me, undressed me and made me feel like a complete woman all through the night!!

This is what I had been waiting for all this time. To be with him in his strong arms on this night and the nights to come.

IN CONCLUSION LIFE GOES ON

Today, after more than 15 years of being with my faithful husband, I pray daily that I am able to live up to the name that my mother-in-law had given me till the time that I depart from this world. The prayer of hope for a new generation, my sons.

Looking back at my life today, though my sister-in-laws are my best friends after having settled down in their own lives after marriage, I miss one of my best friends, my mother-in-law who departed from this world a few years ago after my elder son was born. I am thankful for having fulfilled her last wish to see her family’s generation grow.

The biggest lesson that life has taught me is that unconditional love is beyond all boundaries of language, culture, tradition, religion. All that remains is the love for humanity, where all humans are created equal.